i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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