is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
are you so shy because you have an std?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
