Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
