I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
