Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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