I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize