I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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