ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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