Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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