i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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