also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
