All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
