stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
