clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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