yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
