Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
This baby is an asshole
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
