Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
