omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
