I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
