lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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