Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
