Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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