Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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