she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
