So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
