sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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