I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
