I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
