Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
