Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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