Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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