do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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