The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
