i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
