I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
