They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
