I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
