So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
