Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
