i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
