saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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