Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
