So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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