$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
