Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
