I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
