Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
the liver wants what the liver wants
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
