why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I want her autograph on my taint
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
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