I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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