Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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