She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Still dying that you shit outside
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
