My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
