it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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