so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize