Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
