so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize