it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
